Expectedly Unexpected Visitor
As I lay in my uncle’s bed, awkwardly repositioning my body every now and then, the rest of my family sits at the dining room table having a grand ol’ time.
The stiff bed in this solitary room, in which I found some immediate comfort, reminds me of the relationship I had had with my sibling.
In another time.
Outside of this room lie many anxieties, many fears, many shadows that strike me at every angle physically possible. Every crevice infiltrated by forces of unknown origin. Dozens of slivering ego fragments suspended mid-air staring me in the face in contempt and judgment.
This confined space is my only escape.
As once she was, in another form.
The door-less entrance to this concocted sanctuary penetrates my fragile ear canals with a million enchanting voices, not unlike those of mischievous mermaids at sea. Inviting me to suspend all rational-thought and common-sense in exchange for its peace. Seeking my trust.
As once she sought. And was granted of such.
Upon agreeing to enter this sparsely-lit safety-zone; I am awarded an immediate sense of relaxation. It surprises me with its diligent intoxication as it slithers its way into every pore of my physical-form. No easy-feat for the deeply-engrained on-guard quality of my being. This rare sensation swiftly rebuilds years of damaged neurons for a short interval of time. My cheeks flush with the sudden realization that I’m safe, that nothing can touch me here.
Then. Nothing.
As once she provided and took away.
Everything leaves just as quickly, if not more so, than it arrived. Gone. Taken.
A magnificent illusion with a disappointing prestige.
Like watching Houdini reveal his secret at the end of the act.
As once she performed with the help of a front-row volunteer.
With me.
Such is the cycle of life it seems.
-DOX
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